Frank!
- Riley. - What's up, Orlando?
Time for you to turn around, man.
- I'm just here to get paid. - Me too.
But, you see, tonight I'm taking everything.
Riley, bail!
Make no mistake. Buying a car or coping a plea.
Deal-making is a blood sport.
When a witness lands in my doorstep,
he's trading in his testimony his hometown and everyone
he ever knew for a life at the end of the road.
So I set him up...
A new name, address, a job we hope he won't hate.
But the one thing I can't give him.
The deal I've yet to strike,
is the one that protects him from the guy in the mirror.
Well, what if I don't testify?
Get word to the Bahamian cartel that I'll just keep my mouth shut.
You could do that. Then you'd lose your immunity.
Do 10 to 15 for Grand Theft Auto, and spend the rest of your incarcerated life
looking over your shoulder for a rastafarian with a shank.
Life's gonna be less fun.
That's our WITSEC motto.
And so it begins.
An idiotic Greek philosopher once said...
"Nothing endures but change."
But any WITSEC inspector on the job longer than a week will tell you,
it's resistance to change that truly endures.
We cling to the life raft of who we are,
even as the pounding sound of waterfalls
grow louder in our ears.
Half a sub?
Thanks.
- What? - What? You know what.
- Look, I'm working on it! - I shouldn't have to remind you.
It's too conspicuous. We have to fly below the radar.
- Just like the witnesses. - What's the matter?
Got muscle car envy?
So happens back when I was working warrants,
I drove a '69 GTO Judge.
I was Vin Diesel before Vin Diesel was Vin Diesel.
You know Vin's a chrome dome by choice, right?
But when I got promoted to WITSEC, I had to move on.
- It's time to move on, Mary. - Look, I loved my old car.
- Ah, the probe. - I miss the probe.
I never thought I'd get attached to this muscle car.
Turns out I'm more superficial than I thought.
The 'stang is too identifiable.
Yeah. I said 'stang.
And if you become too identifiable, you not only put your witnesses in danger,
but your partner.
The 'stang is putting me in danger.
It so happens all I care about is the well-being of my partner.
- I'm impressed. - With what?
You seem to be following a direct order.
I always follow a direct order.
Unless, you know, it's stupid.
I'm also impressed you seem to be rolling with change.
It's not something at which you're adept.
I'm adept at change.
I mean, did I not go on vacation with Faber?
No one, including me, thought I could vacate, and I vacated.
And during your so-called vacation, you convinced Faber to go make things work
with his ex-wife and kids, which proves my thesis
that you prefer a known situation that's deeply flawed
to an unknown situation potentially free of flaws.
You're obviously adept at being wrong.
I'm all about change.
Oh, man, it's the same color!
Angry aubergine.
I searched for it far and wide,
found it at a used car dealer in Resolute, Kentucky.
Dealer didn't wanna sell it
because he said he believed in God
and he was sure it was a sin
to make money off this... and I'm quoting...
"Chariot of Satan."
It has 140,000 miles on it!
It's road tested, durable.
Or seen through another lens, a candidate for the junkyard.
Mary, there's no reason for you to regress back into a probe.
- Let me put you in a new loaner. - The only reason
I'm back in the probe is Mr. Headroom here.
The probe is a known situation that is deeply flawed.
Or, seen through another lens, bite me.
Oh, look at this...
Gorgeousness!
Oh, man!
When that car comes back to me, and it will,
please consider a new model.
You'd be doing me a favor, 'cause I wouldn't have to worry about
getting sideways with God.
Hi, Marshall. Hi, Mary.
You believe Peter found you that old wreck?
- I know. - Honey...
I need the keys.
Sold.
Easy as "abc"... always be closin'.
This is too easy.
You got a deal!
Before you say anything, I wanna show you something.
Brandi has climbed to number five on the big sales board.
Technically, I would classify that as a petite sales board.
- But... - She's a natural at it.
She knows a lot about cars.
Yeah, well, she should. She's a...
Has always loved all motor vehicles.
Brandi is making her own money and feeling really good about herself,
so big favor... just don't "Mary" the situation.
What... what does that mean? "Mary" the situation?
Perhaps it means speaking the unfiltered harsh truth
when a respectful silence might be more appropriate.
First of all, don't turn my name into a verb.
Look, I'm just... I'm trying to warn you, Peter.
Brandi gets distracted. Easily.
Just don't expect her to stay on your petite sales board for long.
What's hard to acknowledge?
Your little sister's growing up. Brandi's changed.
He'll be the first to confirm this.
I'm all about change.
I just don't know that she's capable of it.
Peter, every time my little sister's gotten a new life path
or boyfriend or job, it ends in disaster.
Or a word that sounds less harsh but means the same thing.
- We got a problem. - In a minute.
This can't wait. Six cars were stolen off the back lot.
What?
This is me being respectfully silent.
Since 1970, the federal Witness Protection program
has relocated thousands of witnesses,
some criminal, some not,
to neighborhoods all across the country.
Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute,
distinguishing them from the rest of the general population.
And that is...
Somebody wants them dead.
Season 4 - Episode 1 The Art of the Steal
Brendan, good to see you!
Coffee?
Hello, Tim!
Got you some coffee.
- Mike? - Hey.
It's really good to see you.
They stole two Audis, two Porches, two Mercedes.
What, are they building an ark?
So they can steal six cars, and they can't open a gate.
Why does everyone but me feel this crushing need to be liked?
You find that an inherent weakness?
And you made this snap judgment
based on a woman bringing her coworkers coffee?
My snap judgment,
which some would call seasoned law enforcement instincts,
tells me that any female detective
who has to play the "ooh, look at me,
"I'm wearing porno eye shadow and bringing you hot beverages" card
isn't clearing many cases.
You don't think she's working just a little too hard?
Marshal Marshall Mann!
What is a federal lawman doing working a local Grand Theft Auto?
You may not know that the Judiciary Act of 1789
gives federal marshals 50-State jurisdiction
to execute all lawful precepts, and...
to command all necessary assistance in the execution of their duty.
Hello, Mary Shannon! Abigail Chaffee.
Coffee?
How is it...
Albuquerque's not that big a town.
- So why is it... - You don't know me?
Well, I am the new girl from the great Republic of Texas.
- Hook 'em horns. - Lord, no!
Our family is four generations SMU. Go, Mustangs.
Mr. Alpert, do you have security camera coverage?
No. The cameras don't pick up this back part of the lot.
That's why we have the giant, impenetrable gate.
- Keys missing? - All the cars were keyless entry.
The key fobs are still in the lockbox,
and the GPS antitheft systems never pinged at the satellite.
I'm gonna need employment records of everyone who ever worked here.
Don't think it was one of my guys. Most have been with me for years.
And one or more of them helped steal six of your cars.
Is there anything you need to tell me?
Okay. Your non-answer's less comforting than you might think.
So typical of you to think that this has anything to do with me.
Those with Grand Theft Auto convictions in their past, please raise your hand.
That's ancient history. Teenage stuff.
You think the cops'll see it that way?
- This cannot be happening. - So I'm asking you again.
Did someone convince you to help them with this?
Why would I help somebody steal cars from my own dealership?
Okay, look.
I've been known to screw things up with guys.
But you draw bad men to you like an electron magnet.
You do.
Not this time. No.
I finally have a good man
and a job that I really like, and I rock at it.
I have to make sure Peter doesn't find out about my GTA conviction.
He already knows about a suitcase full of meth.
Why would he care about an ex-boyfriend's car you took for a joyride in high school?
He can't find out, not now.
I don't want him to regret his decision.
His decision to hire a car thief to sell cars?
This decision.
Sparkly.
I wanted to tell you over drinks tonight.
I don't wear it at work, because I sell more cars if guys think that I'm single.
How come you don't look happy for me?
I'd be blowing champagne bubbles out of my ass
if I wasn't absolutely certain
that you're gonna be arrested for Grand Theft Auto.
Brandi, listen to me.
You need to tell me exactly what happened so I can try to help you.
Mary, I know my credibility is shot with you,
but nothing happened.
So please...
Good things are happening for me right now, I do not want it all ruined.
Could you make some calls?
Find out who did this. Please.
You know people.
We're looking to promote and train a deputy marshal for WITSEC,
which I like to think of as the elite branch of the Marshal Service.
What they say at FIST.
FIST. Yeah.
Those fugitive investigative strike team guys know how to pick a sexy acronym.
They sure garner a lot of flashy headlines,
but we're not really in the flashy headline business,
just the business of protecting witnesses
whose testimony puts away hundreds of more criminals
than sexy-acronymic FIST could ever dream of.
- What are you doing? - Your desk accessories were misaligned.
Let me ask you something, deputy Eberhardt.
Don't pronounce the "T".
Excuse me?
It's Eberhard. Silent "t".
Got it.
We need to go off the grid.
Brandi got herself jammed up again.
- Anything I can do to help? - Say yes?
I want to use one of my witnesses as a consultant.
Mary, that's thin WITSEC ice.
So that's a yes?
There is precedent with some of Cosa Nostra boys,
but Mary, your personal life with your witness...
I know. Church and State. Jesus, I'm not a retard.
Sorry, deputy Eberhardt.
Eberhard.
Right.
We're looking for team members with high levels of flexibility.
How would you deal with... say for instance...
a difficult, overbearing coworker
who might tend to be a bit acidy or snide?
I detest discord in the work environment.
We'll be in touch.
You're back in the probe and off on a mission
on which we have no investigative jurisdiction to protect your sister.
Where have I seen this movie before?
Two dates.
I seem to have bypassed the conversational off-ramp.
Nancy Drew, teen detective.
She touched your forearm, laughed at your inane factoid.
My operational theory is that you've had two dates,
and the jeans haven't hit the floor yet.
Have I mentioned that I admire your fierce advocacy for your sister?
I am wondering, however, if we're on this quixotic mission
to help clear your sister, in the event she's innocent,
or to confirm that she's not.
And your conversational bypass tells me that I'm exactly right...
you still haven't slept with little miss "I just got my braces off."
Marshall, you want a side of red sports car to go with that midlife crisis?
- Your claws are showing. - They don't retract.
I gotta tell you, I am both annoyed and impressed
that you kept this relationship a secret from me.
Keeping secrets is part and parcel of our chosen profession.
Only the cheerleader doesn't seem your type.
I defy you to categorize the women I've dated as belonging to one specific type.
It is you who has a deeply ingrained pattern to your romantic involvements.
Right.
Dominican ball player and divorcee FBI agent.
Peas in a pod.
Raph and Faber believe that no matter how tough and independent a woman is,
underneath it all, she wants a white picket fence and 2.5 kids.
That's why you didn't marry Raph and Faber went back to sort things out
with his ex-wife and 2.5 kids.
What are you saying, my type is guys that don't get me?
In fact, your type is guys that you don't get don't get you.
But this only applies to long-term relationships.
Short-term, you will... your words, not mine...
drop jeans with just about anyone.
What? Oh... I see.
Okay. Sorry. So you're pissy 'cause I called Nancy Drew a cheerleader.
I'm sorry, Marshall.
I'm sorry. I was wrong, very wrong.
It's been three dates.
Riley?
You look like crap.
Thanks.
I didn't boost six rides.
And if I did, I wouldn't be sitting here wiping crud off a golf cart battery.
How'd you know about the cars?
I have a police scanner. Brings me back.
- Miss it? - Look around, what do you think?
You had anything to do with the thefts.
They're not your style.
So you tell me the Bahamian cartel no longer wants me dead?
- I can leave the program? - No, that's not why I'm here.
I wish it were.
I need a favor. It's vehicular.
All right.
I'll help you guys out with the thefts.
For a small finder's fee, of course.
But I need a favor from you first.
It's medical.
So, thank that doctor for the WITSEC family discount.
Sure.
I never thought I'd be the guy needing the happy pills.
Half the world's on them. Join the masses.
You?
Probably not.
Look at me.
You know...
I don't know how this happened to me.
It's like I used to roll out of bed, ready to go,
and now I have trouble waking up
or even caring if I do wake up.
Am I supposed to tear up because you're not stealing cars anymore?
No. All right.
What if one day you couldn't be a marshal?
What if one day all that adrenaline just...
vanished?
I guess I feel a little sorry for you.
Thanks.
How does someone steal six cars?
There's 50 ways those cars coulda been stolen.
Back before I needed these,
I used to romance the cars away.
These days,
every luxury car has a different keyless entry and ignition system.
Now, a teenager can hop on the Internet and download some code-grabbing software
that opens up the car and starts 'em up.
But that's only the second hardest part of boosting the ride.
Don't keep a girl waiting.
The GPS antitheft system.
When you press the key fob, the GPS sends a signal up to a satellite.
Even when the car's turned off, the manufacturer can ping the car.
The way you're gonna solve these thefts,
figure out how the car crew disabled the antitheft system.
Unless they were a really top shelf crew,
they had to have somebody on the inside.
If you want, I can go over to the dealership, pop my head in...
Do not.
No catnip for kitty.
I just needed your larcenous expertise.
I hope it helped.
Someone you know get jammed up?
What? No. Why?
Why else would a WITSEC inspector be involved?
Sometimes I have to do an immediate relocation on a witness,
and there's no time to pack a bag.
So... here.
I'm sad.
- I'm not homeless. - Then dress like it, and shave.
- And shower. - Hint received.
Thanks for the info.
Thanks for... everything.
That meal was delicious.
Well, I am an expert at watching the food network
and downloading the recipes.
It's the... actual cooking part that I'm not so sure about yet, so...
Let me see how the ring looks on you.
Did Peter tell you that I helped him pick it out?
What?
Thanks. I was trying to create the impression I'm the one with taste.
Sorry.
Full disclosure?
I kind of had a hunch that your mom was behind this,
so... thank you, dora.
You wear it well.
Welcome to the family, Brandi.
- Cheers. - I like it.
Hal, thanks.
Things were a bit rocky in my house growing up,
and... I just don't know
how I got so lucky to meet Peter
and the two of you, so...
Well, you know you're joining a very close-knit family.
We feel like Peter and his sister is the reason we were put on this earth.
I'm sure your parents feel the same way about you.
Which is why, in the spirit of full disclosure,
I think you should take a look at this.
- Dad... - No, look through it.
It's just a little security blanket.
It's a prenup. And this is an ambush.
Mom, please tell me you didn't know about this.
Look, darling,
this is... it's not personal.
It's just about your business and your father's.
It's not just about business when you say you don't trust my fiancee,
and by extension, you don't trust me.
Did some other parents sit with you in family therapy?
Did they come visit you in rehab,
clean up your vomit, not know if their son was gonna live another day?
Please... okay. Peter, this is...
I don't want to come between you and your family.
That's fine, 'cause my parents were just leaving and never coming back.
I used to drink.
But at the bottom of the hole I dug for myself,
I never hurt anyone this badly, and more importantly,
Brandi's never done anything to betray your trust.
Brandi Shannon?
Albuquerque police.
Miss Shannon, will you come with us, please?
Oh, great.
Everyone's here to pick up the inside man.
Got this.
I'm assuming you have concrete evidence linking my sister to this crime,
otherwise, I'm not clear why you dragged her for questioning.
Questioning is how we gather evidence.
I'm sure you're aware of her Grand Theft Auto conviction.
Because of a high school dirt bag boyfriend.
And her jacket has some more recent activity.
Suspect in a murder investigation?
Because of a different dirt bag boyfriend.
What makes you think there isn't another dirt bag in the picture?
This was a sophisticated crime.
You can accuse my sister of many things, sophistication isn't one of them.
Please tell me you have more realistic suspects.
I can't discuss the investigation with you,
but as you are a friend of the department,
I can tell you Brandi is a person of interest.
Person of interest.
She's not an astronaut or a research scientist,
so don't pretty it up with police blotter spin, say it.
- She's a suspect. - You're protecting your sister.
But fair warning.
I'm not letting anyone get in the way of my investigation.
Got it. Fair warning...
My little sister's not getting railroaded.
Brandi, the police don't have anything except your record.
It doesn't matter. Your parents are now convinced
that you're engaged to a car thieving gold digger.
I don't know how to make this clearer.
I don't care what my parents think.
I could have appeared more white trash if the police had tackled me
on an astroturf lanai in front of a double-wide.
You can be as angry at my parents as you want, I'm on your side.
Your fiancee don't think you're a car thief,
and I don't think you're white trash, and if you are, so am I,
and I'm buying us both a double-wide.
You can't see where this is headed, can you?
I'm hoping home.
Here.
This should save your parents all of the hard work of splitting us up.
- Bran... - Hey.
I got this.
A million dollars.
That's right.
If the marriage ended before five years. More if it went longer.
That is...
Awesome.
- Mary... - What?
I mean...
If a marriage starts out like a deal, then that's what it is.
- It's a deal. - It's a marriage contract.
It's a deal.
When I was sitting there with Peter's parents,
I would have signed it just to keep the peace.
But I thought about it, what it all means and...
If I sign it, that means that I'm somebody
that they need legal protection from,
like I am who they think I am.
Squish, look at us. I mean, honestly.
Mom spent her life looking through the bottom of a Canadian Club bottle.
Dad robbed banks and parachuted out on us.
You got hooked up with a meth dealer who tried to kill me,
and I've made pushing good men away an art form.
So maybe we are who the Alberts think we are.
Who cares?
I'm changing.
I can see your face, you know. I'm right here.
I realize that I've said I'm changing
probably so many times that it seems comical to you.
But think about this.
What would I have done before?
I would have signed that prenup and taken the prize money.
What's the problem?
Peter doesn't want you to sign it, and he still wants to marry you. Win-win.
Except it would end Peter's relationship with his parents.
But, that's his problem.
No, what?
Start our life out with huge regrets?
What if we have kids?
What, are they not gonna see their grandparents?
Don't you get it? In the long-term, Peter's gonna end up resenting me.
What's the plan?
You're back here with me instead of with Peter?
Gotta say, I'm not a big fan of the long-term strategy.
God, Mary.
Same old stuff, right?
Brandi screws up and comes back to stay in your guest room?
Well, I didn't screw up this time,
and if you can't see that,
then maybe you need to look in the mirror.
Maybe you're the one who needs to change.
Good night.
There's no bed in there.
Mom took it for her new place.
It's a... junk room now.
Sorry.
Okay. Thanks.
We'll be there in 20 minutes.
Got something.
Tess Yates over at the FBI did some digging.
She came up with a GTA investigation in Oklahoma City.
Matches the MO of Peter's dealership.
And what Oklahoma City and Albuquerque have in common?
I-40. They have suspects?
Two Samoans that run a car crew.
Yates is gonna show us what she has.
I think Washington wants us to say pacific islanders.
Yeah. That's gonna happen.
Jesus.
Why does Stan wanna hire a new inspector?
We're understaffed.
Yeah, but new people?
They're all... new.
What's with Bill Gates in there?
Before I joined the marshals, I got a degree from the Naval School.
That's very impressive, but here at WITSEC we don't rely much on computers.
Are you saying I'm a better fit for FIST?
No. I'm saying that this department focuses more on people skills.
Are you saying you don't think I'm cut out for FIST?
'Scuse me for sec, will you?
- How's it going with Brandi? - She's a person of interest.
- I hate that phrase. - Don't get me started.
- Headed over to meet Yates, wanna join? - Can't. Keep me updated.
That's an order.
Brandi.
God, I'm so glad you're back.
- Just to do my job. - Okay.
- Can we talk? - Employee to boss.
Fiance to fiancee?
- Did you apologize to your parents? - Apologize to them for what?
For saying that they should leave and never come back.
They need to apologize to us.
I'm not breaking up your family.
I know what it's like. Trust me.
Sales agent needed on the floor.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I have an up.
Hey.
- Hi. I'm Brandi. - Riley.
Riley!
Let's skip the sedans. We're gonna go straight to sports cars.
- You like this one? - Does anyone say no?
Don't even bother looking at the sticker price, because this one's a steal.
We'll see.
This meeting's officially unofficial, correct?
Correct.
Oh, boy.
Please tell me when we look at the dealership security video,
we see these two nimrods checking out cars,
preferably not with my sister.
No.
We only got tipped off to the Tatupo brothers from an informant.
Any way you could unofficially contact the informant for us?
I would be glad to, but I'd have to be able to commune with the dead.
I brought afternoon muffins.
Are you more of a bran or a blueberry?
Is anyone bran, really?
I am. They clean me right out.
Blueberry for me, thank you.
Thank you.
- So... deputy Parmalee... - I'm sorry to interrupt.
Let me know if that bothers you, I do that a lot.
But the deputy marshal network thrives on gossip,
so I know you're having difficulties finding someone to train for WITSEC.
These days, seems everyone's interested in FIST.
- Well, that's not really... - And the scuttlebutt.
That's a funny word, scuttlebutt...
is you're having a problem finding one who can get along with Mary Shannon,
so... and I'm not going to take no for an answer...
I want to come back for a second interview with you and Mary.
I don't see that happening.
You see, you're kind of sunny...
A quality I admire, by the way, but Mary is... less so.
You're the chief inspector in this office?
Yes. Yes, I am.
Then you'll make it happen.
I never for a moment considered applying to FIST.
Riley really have new info, or is he angling for a belgium waffle?
He has ideas about how a car crew might have...
His words, not mine... boosted the rides.
Probably the waffle.
What?
You're doing the "not so good news" face.
Message from Abigail. Security video has confirmed
your sister was the last one out of the dealership that night.
- Why's Abigail telling you that? - 'Cause I asked.
Still waters.
Does the security video show Brandi committing any crimes?
So? Coincidence.
- A lot of 'em. - Stop making the face.
If Brandi's involved it's because she was taken advantage of by some guy.
It's the Brandi Shannon story.
Oh, my lord.
What's up?
It's amazing. I own exactly the same suit.
I think I was crystal clear... No, I'm sure.
I asked you how those cars were stolen. I didn't ask you to steal a car.
- I have to arrest you. - Arrest me?
- You're gonna thank me. - For what?
For stealing a $150,000 car?
You told me not to go to the dealership, I had to figure out how the crew did it.
- It's a point of professional pride. - So you stole one for yourself.
This blond sales chick... smokin' hot...
she practically begged me to steal the car.
She made it so easy.
This dealership was full of security leaks.
I got the ignition and entry code in 30 seconds.
She kept her password... on a post-it.
Jersey girl. Oh, and this.
- Old gum? - Lead putty.
I found it on the ground where the cars were stolen.
They put that on the GPS antenna, totally blocks the satellite signal.
So the blond was probably the inside person in the crew?
No way. Too ditzy.
Rippin' body, though. Smokin' hot.
You said.
They were taking the cars someplace where they were warehousing snowplows.
Snowplows?
You see the salt in there? Looks like road salt.
It's not road salt.
Could possibly be...
You didn't put the lead putty in the car you took, did you?
You protect your witness. I'll deal with the law.
- Check the car. - Car's clear!
I'm gonna check around back.
- Hands in the air! - Freeze!
Stand down.
So have you turned to a life of crime?
Just helping clear the name of an innocent person of interest.
I'm beginning to wonder if I've picked the right boyfriend.
Boyfriend? Is it official now?
It's been witnessed by three sworn officers of the law.
Now, do you wanna tell me why you stole this vehicle?
So I could solve your case.
Of course you minored in Geology.
With all the time you two spend together,
how did you not know that?
'Cause nobody knows what anyone minored in.
- Marshall, what'd I minor in? - Jagermeister?
- Oh. I stand corrected. - Salado Mesa
is basically an effacement of salts,
salado translating roughly as "salty."
The Mesa Salt Company was one of the largest salt producers in the world
until the Pakistanis began dominating the industry.
If I fall asleep at the wheel, it's on you.
I am, however, very interested.
To the north of the property is the original Mesa Salt mine.
To the South is the last mine built before the factory ceased operations.
I figured either would be an ideal place to hide a chop shop.
And either location could account for the large,
unrefined salt granules found in the lead putty.
I enjoy your theory.
But I have spent too many hours in my unmarked
following down leads that go nowhere.
You are gonna owe me big-time for taking personal time to track down this lead.
- What did you have in mind? - I'm gonna hurl.
What did Mary say?
- She said she's going to hurl. - Don't hurl, Mary.
I'll check out the north. You two take the South.
Copy that.
If there was a mine here, it caved in a long time ago.
Maybe you're a better marshal than you are a detective.
The jury is still out, actually.
It looks like we've got something here in the South side.
Give us a second.
We've got some tire tracks.
Could be off-roaders...
Marshall?
Maybe not.
Marshall... Marshall talk to me!
Taking fire! Call for backup!
Shots fired off Salado Mesa Road.
Mile marker 39.
- Those guys are huge. - That gun is huge.
- Make sure you save one bullet. - For what?
So you can kill my sister.
It'd be weird for me to do it.
She had nothing to do with the Tatupo brothers.
The only time people shoot at me is because of Brandi.
You gave Riley my suit from the operation suitcase.
How is that pertinent at this moment?
Just in case we... I wanted you to know that I knew.
- Out of the car! - U.S. Marshals!
Put your hands up!
- Through the sunroof! - Put your hands up!
Through the sunroof!
Hands up!
- Chaffee, you all right? - They got me.
Oh, God!
Guess I was kind of a douche down at the station,
so... you know.
Don't die or anything.
You were very douchey, Mary.
But I accept your apology.
I didn't... apologize.
What?
Mary, what are you doing?
I want you off my sofa.
My father's basic theory... you look lovely, by the way...
is that everyone's out to screw you.
I don't wanna live my life like that.
But I still apologized to him.
I'm confused.
Why?
Brandi thought it was important.
Peter, no.
I don't want your parents to think I married you for the money.
Sorry. Confused again.
You said if you signed that, it would confirm you're the person his parents
thought you were or some... crap like that.
I decided to change their minds.
Long-term thinking.
And worst-case scenario...
- You get the cool mil. - Ignoring her.
So am I.
I just want our kids to know their grandparents.
You know, now that we're a family again,
I think I want my Mustang back.
Just curious. Who'd you tell Peter the finder's fee was for?
He didn't ask.
- Sap. - He's a good man.
If you like polite, stable rich guys.
Which we know is not your type.
Tell me we haven't seduced him back into crime.
- You showing off again... - Please chill.
I got a better job.
Thank you.
- I'll see you soon, Riley. - Yes, you will.
Guess those pills really worked.
Never had to take 'em.
You asked me to consult, gave me the cheap suit,
got me the test drive with the smokin' hot saleswoman,
and now I'm back in the high-end rides.
You're my happy pill, Mary.
Hey, what do you know? You hear that?
That suit happens to have been a bespoke wool gabardine.
Okay. Come on.
Okay. Excuse me a moment, please.
You two think I don't have stroke with APD?
That I wouldn't find out about an officer-involved shooting
that included two U.S. Marshals?
I ordered you to check in.
- What happened to Church and State? - We were taking a stab in the dark.
You know what? Don't speak.
You're not speaking.
We're at the dawn of a new era, Mary, where my word is law.
Is that understood?
Is it?
You told us not to speak.
The time for being childish has passed.
So... as the first edict of the new era,
our newly promoted Deputy Marshal for WITSEC...
miss Delia Parmalee.
Really?
I know something that will turn that frown upside down.
Morning muffins.
Stan, you can't be serious.
Thinking of making some type of twisted joke, Mary?
It so happens that deputy Parmalee graduated first in her class.
Federal Law Enforcement Training Center.
That's something no one here but marshal can lay claim to.
These are delicious.
Thank you. They're cappuccino with espresso cream frosting.
- Come on, Stan. - New regime, Mary.
"We know what we are but know not what we may be."
Don't talk like that. What's your point?
Your mom is well-ensconced teaching ballet,
your sister's engaged.
And, despite your underlying belief in her guilt,
it turned out she was free of any complicity in the car theft.
My question is...
What does the protective lioness do without anyone to protect?
Whether it's secrets, justice or the Amazon rainforest,
everyone of us protects things a thousand times a day.
It doesn't take a gun.
For most of us, protection is as quiet and reflexible as a breath.
For some, though.
For knights in shiny armor, the Lone Ranger,
a boyfriend or a Mom.
Protection can be a hard habit to break.
As much as we thump the Bible about the vital need to change,
the fact is, we hardly ever do.
We stay here, halfway to happiness.
In our old familiar places, with our feet stuck firmly on the ground.
Idiot.
Witness Protection Team